Have you ever come across someone whom you relate absolutely to? So understanding and whom you get along so well? I have met a few people like this. Some of them were pretending to be genuine and some of them turned out to be hypocrites… But only one of them remained the same although we are not in touch that much anymore… This is another case.

I have met someone around 5 years ago. We've met virtually. Through chatting. We'd just hit it off and we became thick pals. Whenever I needed him he was there but I can't say the same for myself. Yes I have been there but sometimes, due to certain circumstances it was impossible for me to talk to him or help him out.

And I never knew that he had held that grudge against me. The other day he blurted out that he was used to it that am not there for him. He told me that after 5 years of solid friendship. That had really hurt me deeply. That had cut through me like a sharp razor blade. And we are not talking about Gillette Mach 3 or Mach 4 here!!!

I remember the times when I wasn't there for him. But as I had said before, I couldn't do otherwise. Circumstances were against me.  However hard I had tried. We cannot always have control over things that happen, do we? Though he said he understood, it was all pretence finally. I thought he really meant it. We would fight like cats and dogs and after a few months we would be back to old times again. We used to say that we were soul mates and that we would be together in the next life. I meant it. And then he started telling me that he wanted to kiss me on the lips and all… That made me uncomfortable. I had never looked at him that way. After that it went further and it went out of hand. No I didn't like the way things were moving. I felt like telling him to go to his wife since he was married now. And I also told him that it was not right that he would think about me this way when his wife loved him so much. Even before he got married he would sometimes tell me that he was kissing me all over my face and all. But I would not reply to these messages. Do friends do that? I know they don't. Yes they kiss on the cheeks or on the forehead and maybe on the tip of the nose. But nowhere else. No they don't have the right to do that unless you give them the right to do so. They hug and hold hands but that's about it. You don't cross the line. Because when you do, you become lovers.

I don't mind talking about sex. I don't mind talking about things. But when it comes to me, as in doing things to me that makes me uncomfortable. Specially since I had trusted male friends in the past and they ended up wanting to bed me. That's breaching of trust. It's not because I am friendly and all that it means that I will accept anything that you would want to do with me. All I wanted was a good friend.

I dunno if it's comprehensible, but when I make friends, I don't even think about the gender of the person. I think about that person as a neutral human being. Even if the person is attractive or whatever…  Nothing. It's just like the way a child looks at a grown-up person. All you see is the child being fond of the other person without taking sex into consideration. A selfless trust and dedication. No other thoughts, no sexual thoughts…  Just simple affection. Yes I do admit that sometimes the perception of a friend changes and friendship changes into love. Happened to me once. Only once. But that had bloomed into a beautiful relationship.

I dunno what to think. I have decided to stay away from him. Such a wonderful friendship where we shared everything. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. One day when I had blogged he gave me his opinion about what I had written and he had the guts to judge me about what I wrote. Why the hell do I need to justify myself? I am who I am. If you can't deal with that you might as well go your way and find someone else to butter up! I don't like to be disappointed or hurt. Who does anyway?

What shocked me was the fact that he kept on talking about things and kept saying that all these would happen in the next life! That's so stupid!!! Then why don't you leave it for next time. As it is we don't even know about the next life!!! That's trying to con me. Am not that stupid you know. So it's like let's talk about things even though we know it will not happen. If we know that things won't happen then why talk about it in the first place??? Don't you see we are wasting each other's time? Why wait for next life to do things when you can do it in this life??? This is no movie happening here!!! This is all bullshit!!! Life is not a movie! Life is not fictitious!!! Only cowards say things like this. Cause they cannot do it now. Anyway it's another friend that I have lost. Things can't be the same anymore. Never can be.

I have other friends whom I haven't met till now. Yes again virtually. Great human beings. These people have never misbehaved with me. They have treated me right. They have been friends. And am sure someone will recognize himself when he reads this. We have never met but please know that you hold a place in my life. Again like I said before, you are a human being. No gender considered. We laughed out guts out and all and yes it's great to be in your company even if it's virtual. And I hope this friendship that we share will remain like this. Adam and Eve weren't friends but well, who needs to be like them? We defied them! :o)